Not All Heroes Wear Capes

If you had told me years ago, I'd become a single mother, I'd wouldn’t believe it. Sadly life, love, and parenthood don't always end up the way you'd like. My daughter is now 14 years old, and it is still a daily struggle being a single mother, who works full-time, while finding time to give my daughter the precious memories she deserves.

Something I discovered quickly was that between work, making dinner (or picking up dinner), and then being there for my daughter each day, I basically lost a little bit of myself. I didn't give myself time to mourn the failed relationship, or think about how to heal properly. I was no longer living a moving life, but one on autopilot. I think all parents feel this way in some way or another, but for me especially, who is nowhere near any family, it felt hopeless. Well, that is, until I discovered a few important things that ended up helping me heal, as well as becoming a better parent. Not all heroes wear capes … to me, it’s the parents who grind daily to provide a better life for their child no matter how tired they may be.

#1 Find "Me" Time

Find something that you can do each day or at least each week to de-stress. For me it’s working out or this blog. What I liked about the MEL blog is that my daughter is part of it. She actually takes about 85% of my pictures. Also in this category, I'd definitely say that taking a night out is important. Whether you are going out with friends, out on a date, or just shopping alone ... the only way to get rid of some of that stress we take on is to let out a long breath and do something fun.

#2 Ask for Help

Maybe that sounds easy, but I know that for me (and plenty of other single parents out there) asking for help is incredibly difficult. You suddenly feel like you have something to prove. You feel like asking for help is admitting defeat, but if you keep doing everything on your own, you will get burnt out ... and then you'll feel more defeated than ever. I’m still working on this.

#3 Set Boundaries

Let your work life be your work life and your home life be home. This tip is honestly for anyone, because everyone should leave their work at work. Your children are excited to see you, and if you let your stress of work take over your world, then you aren't really with them.

#4 Just Breathe

Parenthood is a commitment, and sometimes we aren't ready for the challenges that may come with that. The trick to being a good parent though is stepping up and doing what you have to do to give your child an amazing childhood and keeping a roof over their heads.

Sometimes I lose my temper, and sometimes I'm burnt out beyond all reason, but the best thing is that my daughter still is there excitedly to see me when I come home.

Photo Credit: Jeff Zepeda

Marvin the Martian

"Where's the kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom!"

It’s been a minute since I posted on the blog. Life tends to get in the way sometimes, but I couldn’t pass posting this fantastic shirt find, plus I’ve been feeling a little nos·tal·gia lately.

I grew up watching the Looney Tunes show with my brother, and although they have so many different lovable characters, I have to say Marvin the Martian is my favorite character. He is the first character that I learned how to draw. As I was browsing Zara this past weekend, I noticed I didn’t like any of the graphic tees they had on the women side, so I venture into the men’s department. I stumbled upon this fun Marvin the Martian shirt and fell in love (they also have Daffy Duck and Sylvester the Cat). How perfect is this tee! I paired it with high-rise black jeans and my new ankle boots that I got on sale from Nordstrom - for those days where you want to be more casual.

Photo Credit: Jeff Zepeda

GET THE LOOK

National Comic Book Day & Why It Matters to Me

Happy National Comic Book Day! I’ve loved comics forever, but I’ve long given up the reading them as much to do this thing called adult life. I was never well read enough like my daughter is now, she owns over 200 graphic novels, and we just bought three comic books to add to her collection this past weekend. That’s the thing I’ve always loved about comics and graphic novels though: for me, it’s always been a one-on-one conversation. Comics (whether it be books or movies), let me jump into worlds where I can stay submerged for hours.

Fun Fact: People who collect comic books are known as pannapictagraphist.

Why do I love comics?

If you are the kind of person who can’t sit still to read a whole book, comics are perfect! The drawings are always incredible and the dialogue snappy - it is so easy to sit and read them, often in one sitting!

Another reason why I love comics is because of the awesome movies that are out is based on comic books! The Avengers, Big Hero Six, Ant Man and Guardians of the Galaxy, Justice League, Wonder Woman, Doctor Strange, and Captain America, to name a few! And then there are all the TV shows - Arrow, The Flash, Agent Carter, Agents Of Shield, Daredevil, Supergirl, Gotham and more! There are so many brilliant films and movies - what's not to love about these geeky films.

Superheroes are fantastic role models. Now, I’m not suggesting you all start running around in tights, beating up villains. But look at Captain America or Superman or Wonder Woman - all are so noble and so brave and so good: they fight when they have to, but they always talk first. Heck, Wonder Woman has a huge representation now - she makes that job cool! We should all try to be a little more like our favorite superheroes - try to help more people or aspire to become people who can make a change in the future. Comic books remind us that heroes exist and that you don’t always have to have superpowers or millions to be one.

So maybe some people think reading comics is nerdy or geeky or whatever. But you know what? Being a geek is awesome! - you get to read the best books and comics and wear the coolest t-shirts (doesn’t everyone have at least one superhero shirt in their wardrobe? Or is that just me again?) and also get to know the most amazing characters. And you get to dress up as them and look awesome yourself.

‘Cause being geeky is awesome and bonus I get to be one with my daughter. What are some of your reasons you like comics in your life? Let me know.