I usually don't write really personal things that is going on my life because I really like to focus on the positive things. I know people see pretty pictures, smiling pictures, but I am human. Sometimes its hard being a full-time working mom, balancing work as well as home life, especially when you are doing it all by yourself. I been working non-stop since I was 15 and sometimes I want to scream in a pillow just to release some of the things I am battling in my life right now. Don't get me wrong, I love my job, a great boss that understands what it takes being a working mom, blessed to be doing the profession I am in, happy to have roof over my head and food on my table. I am beyond blessed that I became a mom. My most precious gift that I am proud of. God's gift to me. My daughter is what drives me everyday to make her life better than how I grew up. Sometimes not knowing if we were going to get evicted, to eating the same thing 5 days in a row since money was tight. Not the lifestyle I will ever have her grow up in. She is my heart and every time I see her smile and tell me, "I love you mommy" really makes everything worthwhile.
But sometimes I just get tired. I just want to lay there & be still and just not have to worry about anything. My mind almost runs non-stop especially being creative – almost all the time I'm trying to find solutions, how to make things better, how to solve a problem. I just want to take care of things one at a time, instead of everything at once. I am pressured from all angles in my life right now and sometimes wish something was just easy. As working moms, we must learn one to BALANCE. I need to learn to balance things in my life, set schedules, set time for just me and my daughter, my alone time, my fitness time, my work time. That is something I will working towards. Another word as working moms is PATIENCE. Its's easy to practice patience when life is going well and you feel like you have it all together. But the real test is when things are out of your control and everything seems to be going wrong. Those moments are what truly defines patience. I need to learn to focus on the things I can control and accept what I can't - find the balance that brings peace and understanding.
Have an awesome friday everyone. -xo Mel